Friday, March 20, 2009

Thanks For The Ticket. I Really Enjoyed That Parking Spot.

It is not a twist of fate that brings you my blog topic today, but rather, sick and twisted fate. 

OF COURSE after writing my last blog topic about the wonders of auto insurance, today I get nailed with a parking ticket. I've been wanting to write about the ridiculousness of trying to find a parking spot in student Y lots at BYU, and now I am seizing my chance!

Finding a Parking Spot at BYU. 
Level of Difficulty: Recalcitrant. 
(Look it up.) 
So, you would think that by now, more than halfway through the second semester, I would be an expert about knowing how to find a parking spot. Believe it or not, I think I was more of an expert at the beginning of the semester than I am currently. You see, there is this sweet little Y parking lot on the south end of campus across from Brick Oven that used to be a pretty vacant lot. It is a little more difficult to access because it is by a high area of traffic and crawling with pedestrians. I didn't care, it was usually worth hitting a few students every now and then to get into this glorious lot. 

I'm kidding.

Anyway, my point is - not many people used to park in this lot. Well, somehow, the secret leaked about this lot and now EVERYBODY parks there. It's like, the new thing to do. "Oh, what, you don't park in that lot? Sorry, I can't be seen with you anymore." Ok, so maybe that's a little drastic. But seriously. What the heck?!?! That was MY lot!!!!! 

So now, my biggest battle in the mornings (besides the battle with my alarm clock) is finding a parking spot. Seriously, if you don't have a class at 8am or earlier, your chances of finding a vacant spot are very slim. My first class starts at 9am, but no, that's not good enough!

I, and many other students, now have to endure a process called "vulturing". Yes that's right, it is just like how it sounds. We sit around at different ends and corners of the lot, just waiting to be the first to pounce on a student coming back from class. Most of the time, they are usually a pedestrian that walked to school and are taking a short cut through the lot. It's not funny. Stop doing it. Now when we are lucky enough to find someone that is actually parked and leaving, the claiming of the spot is pretty ridiculous. You drive up as close as possible to the spot and turn on your blinker. Your blinker!!! "My light is blinking first, therefore I get their spot, and it doesn't matter how long you've been driving around this lot!" Uh, nuh-uh buddy. How bout a number system, eh? Whoever has been searching for a spot the longest shall receive the fulness of the parking spot! No more blinkerage, I'll pull out my number and smile as I drive into my well-deserved parking spot. Yeah boy. I like that system. Or, here's an idea: CREATE MORE PARKING SPOTS!!!!

Now, for those of you who are like, dude, just walk to school. Oh my goodness, believe me, if I happened to NOT live in the apartment complex that happens to be located the furtherest away from campus, I would be walking EVERYDAY! In fact, I would probably walk to and fro several times a day - just cause I could. And I've actually walked to school once before when my car failed to start. It took me almost an hour, and I missed my first class. The good thing was that I was currently enrolled in HEPE and was participating in that pedometer assignment, you know - the thing that counts how many steps you take - and it totally boosted my step count. Like by 50,000 steps. It was wicked. 

Anyway, so today happened to be a day when there were absolutely ZERO parking spots between all the three south end parking lots, and my class was going to start in 25 mins. I spent 10 minutes vulturing, and no dice. I FINALLY found a parking spot on the side of the road across from a lot and next to an apartment complex. The thing was, if I parked there, my car would be halfway between the NO PARKING ---> sign and a legal area. So, half of my car would be legally parked. Considering my gas was being largely wasted and my class was going to start soon, I called it pretty good odds and sprinted up the hill to class. 

After class, I had a religion test to take. It took me a little bit over an hour to complete, and then I was done for the day. As I approached my car, I couldn't tell if there was anything on my windshield or not. As I got closer, the sun gleamed at the right angle and there was most definitely a light yellow envelope tucked into my wiper blade. Maybe I should remove those. Grumbling, I snatched it and got inside my car and drove away. As I was driving, I decided to take a peek at the envelopes contents. My eyes skimmed over the time stamp (15 minutes ago) and then down to the marked violation and correlating price. 

Painted Line/Curb/Sign Violation - $30.00

THIRTY DOLLARS?!?!?! For HALFWAY parking my car legally??? I was totally blown away. I looked at the other possible violations and their prices for comparison. 

Blocking Driveway - $25
15' of Fire Hydrant - $30
20' of a Crosswalk or Intersection - $25
Parking on a Sidewalk - $30
Red Curb - $30
Time Restriction - $25
Registration/Plate violation - $30
Disability Space Violation - $125
Facing Traffic or 12'' From Curb - $30

Great, I get fined the same amount just as if I had been:
- Blocking a fire hydrant and possibly risking people's lives that could have been saved by the fire truck needing to access the hydrant, 
- If I had absolute horrific driving skills and had somehow managed to park on the sidewalk (in my car, this would do more damage to my car than anything),
- Parked on a red curb which EVERYBODY knows not to do (not to mention totally embarrassing), 
- Had failed to register or forget my license plates on my car, 
- OR if I had parked facing traffic (which I'm not even sure how that is possible in Provo) or was parked pretty much in the middle of the road. 


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Rough. But if your going to get a $30 ticket anyway, just park on the sidewalk near your class, at least you won't have to walk far.