Saturday, February 21, 2009

B is the new C.

The Rule for Multiple Choice Exam Questions:
If in doubt, choose C.
The Rule for True or False Exam Questions:
Bring a coin. Heads means True, tails means False.

Yesterday I had a midterm for my Marriage Prep class (don't gotta prepare sometime). It was 95 questions long -- 40 of the 95 questions were True or False questions. All True or False questions are either patronizing or mind-numbingly stupid. And you can't just choose C and hope for the best. Take this story for example (refer to picture):

Response from the teacher:

Dear Michael, 

Every year I attempt to boost my students' final grades by giving them this relatively simple exam consisting of 100 True or False questions. For the past twenty years I have never once seen someone score below a 65 on this exam. Consequently, your score in the first in history and ultimately brought the entire class average down a whole 8 points.

There were two possible answer choices: A (True) and B (False). You chose C for all 100 questions in an obvious attempt to get lucky with at least a quarter of the answers. It's as if you didn't look at a single question. Unfortunately, this brings your final grade in this class to failing. See you next year!

May God have mercy on your soul.

Professor William Turner

P.S. If all else fails, go with B from now on.
B is the new C

Thursday, February 19, 2009


"Humor may be defined as the kindly contemplation of the incongruities of life, and the artistic expression thereof." - Stephen Leacock

So, I've been intrigued by this whole "blogging" thing. A "blog" is actually a web log. I don't understand why they combined the two words and took off the "we". I think it is quite appropriate with the "we", and arranging the letters like so: "we blog". I blog, you blog, we all fetching blog. It's the newest form of communication technology. It's also the newest source of information. FACT: I googled some tax inquiries the other day, and lo and behold, one of my highest sources WAS A BLOG. So, since this blogging epidemic is now pretty much unavoidable, I've given in, and I proudly present to you: The Humoured.

I am HUGE advocate for humor. I see it everywhere. I believe it is necessary for survival. Now, I get to share with the world...or whomever decides to glance over this blog once in awhile...the many humorous events in my life, your life, and your mom's life. 

Today I was shopping for milk. While in the produce section (nowhere near the dairy section, might I add), I couldn't help but notice an elderly lady shopping with, presumably, her granddaughter. Or great-granddaughter. Or even great-great granddaughter. At that moment, the child was helping her great-great grandma shop for some bananas. The grandma was reaching for some not-yet- ripened, very much green bananas. The little girl widened her eyes and said, "No grandma, you probably shouldn't get those." I'm sure the little girl was worried that her grandma was buying green and not very tasty bananas, but man - YOU KNOW YOU ARE OLD WHEN IT IS SUGGESTED THAT YOU DON'T BUY GREEN BANANAS!